"basically"

It either is, or it isn't. You take any sentence with this word, and then take this word out, and it still makes perfect sense. Its (basically) redundant.

That's how it basically works

The over use/wrong application of the term ironic pisses me off.

"When you say jump, I say how high".
This one really gripes me, as decades ago it was "When I say jump you don't ask how high". The implication being that you don't waste my time to ask how high, you just jump.

But the all time ignorant one in America is "put your John Henry right there". Geez, John Henry was a "steel drivin' man". John Hancock was the only person so bold as to sign his name to the Declaration of Independence that you could easily read his signature. I have been known to stand in offices and give lectures on this subject. I can't help it. They weren't like, the HEAVY DUTY, DELUXE, lectures, though.

Heard one on today's news in Canada: "international cocaine smuggling ring". Didn't know we grew coca in Canada. International sounds so much more impressive, though, doesn't it?

The comment on "axe" reminded me of another verbal peeve: "eckcetera". The latin phrase is et cetera and means and (et) other things (cetera). Heard a teacher or school board official (among many others) mispronounce it on the radio.

One phrase I notice that some people commonly misinterpret is "once and a while." The correct phrase is "once in a while." How can one do something at one instance in time and for a while?

The word 'up' also seems to be too frequently used in the wrong context and it bugs the hell out of me.
Examples:
"Let's meet up in the park." You want to meet somewhere above the park?
"Call me up." Call you from up where?

Although not a phrase, I'm seeing commas used where they shouldn't be used and not used where they should be used.
Examples: The boy put on a pair of running shoes, he ran to the park.
I have three items, a flashlight, a blanket, and a pillow.
My computer while very quiet still emits some noise.

It goes with the unnecessary apostrophe, but I don't have ready examples.

Apostrophe's (sic) are frequently misused. Using them for plurals is sometimes called 'The Greengrocer's apostrophe', although the use of an apostrophe in that phrase is actually correct. A major change occurred between the 1980's and the 1990s when we threw out using apostrophes for plurals of numbers, abbreviations and acronyms. The idea was to prevent them being used for any plural however it then leads to confusion of these specific plurals. IE, what makes CDs, see deez and not cee dee ess. There are still many knowledgeable people who use apostrophes in these cases even though it is now frowned upon simply because use of an apostrophe acts as disambiguation.

...doublecheck. Let me doublecheck this for you - why not just "check"?

"Cannot have one's cake and eat it." Anyone can have their cake and then eat it, it is far more likely folks mean "you cannot eat your cake and have it".

I disagree with you there. From my Mechanical Engineering lectures at Lancaster, I was taught "knowledge transfer" is process of transferring empirical knowledge (usually gained by years of trial-and-error) into a system or process so it becomes intuitive.
The end result should be a win-win situation. The company gets a intuitive system that incorporates the empirical knowledge that the staff had. The staff should be under less stress and will be chuffed to see their hard work rewarded in a system or process, designed around the knowledge they had.

me too... i hate when people say something is ironic when what they are actually describing is coincidence...

"ironically, we ended up on the same flight to toronto..."

i'm so tempted to call someone out on that one day...
"really?? i fail to see the irony in that..."

One of my pet peeves:

It's does not equal its.

It's = It is (as in "It is raining.")
Its = possessive of it (as in "Its wheels fell off, so the car broke down.")

Why so many people who write on the web can't get this simple thing straight is beyond me!

-------------------

Some alternate word meanings that are too funny to pass up: Too funny to pass up:

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

Very much like The Meaning of Liff by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd:
http://folk.uio.no/alied/TMoL.html

Hardly as funny, but sometimes it helps if English isn't your native language (inspired on the above):

Circumference: Jewish man in boxers being disturbed during a late night snack.

Latitude: Wall Street hot shot ordering at Starbucks.

Idealist: short list of things you want to explore.

Diversionary: distracting people's attention from one's clairvoyant skills.

Friday: mayo on the fries, please.

Elmo: the great battle on Sesame Street.
(and sometimes it doesn't help if English isn't your native tongue, I guess this one is too far fetched in pronounciation).


4), 7) and are winners for me.
Funny, 12) and 13) are close together.

More perfect.

A woman is either perfect or imperfect. She's not "more perfect" after losing her flab. However, one may have "more perfect women" if adding perfect members to the harem.

A woman might be "closer to perfection", but that's not the same as "more perfect".

Hahaha, I always got away with 500 words in such circumstances. However, my first complete English essays were all for generally lazy biochemists.

I hate it when people don't use proper punctuation or paragraphs. This usually means I don't read their palaver, or if I manage to do so, I take great joy in telling them off (*evil-smirk*).

"Premium Wild Caught Alaskan Salmon"

In fine the print on the back - Product of Thailand.

You know what? I just decided I want to go to Alaska and catch Thailand salmon.

I am not as think as you confused I am.

I hate it when American football broadcasters call a game and say about the losing team "it's too early to panic".

Why don't they ever tell me when the losing team should panic?

"Any noun can be verbed"

For Rupert Murdoch this is front page news, but many decades ago it's real name was editorializing.

Journalists - Get a &^%$*^%# clue.

-Nevermind-

one of my english teachers in high school:

pronounced "beelzebub" as "be-ayzel-bub"

pronounced "circuitous" as "cir-qui-shus"

among other things.

when i corrected him on this, he told me these things were "mute" points. when i corrected him on that, he sent me out of the room.

10 minutes later in the hallway, he tells me "I have a degree, it is in english." my response: "I hope your university has a refund policy, so you can go get your money back. Your degree obviously isn't worth the paper it's printed on."


california public schools, eh? no wonder we're last in the nation.

And if that is not scary then I don't know what scary is

As seen on carpet at Home Depot:

Made of 100% miscellaneous fibers

Kinda defeats the purpose of the label, no?

Here's one that always annoys me - as heard on TV many times :

"That's a big ask".

Someone commenting on a large rear view ?
Nope, it's instead of saying " That's a lot to ask of someone " or "That's difficult "

When did "ask" become a noun ?

It's funny that you question that ask.

From a Dos Equis commercial. Well one way to accomplish this is to not drink your product. Or are you saying that it won't address my thirst?

Which is it?

Duh.

"Would of" when the writer means "would have"
Could of, should of, etc.

"Worst come to worst" - it's "worse come to worst"

Than/then

"The issue is mute"

"All intensive purposes"

"Bare with me" (are you inviting me to strip!?)

These are all products of a generation that learned to speak but was never taught to write.

I thought this was correct for years, until I first saw it in print.

But at least I wasn't like the guy who thought as an employee he got french benefits. Great commercial.