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 Post subject: silencing humans
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 12:44 pm 
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Im an engineerng student, i know how to silence my pc. When its quiet all i will hear is my parents and i dont know how to silence them.

Any suggestions?


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 1:19 pm 
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Duct tape.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 1:28 pm 
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Duct tape is for wimps.

Use staples. :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 1:42 pm 
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Superglue.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 4:26 pm 
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Bullets.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 5:04 pm 
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Nothing so drastic is necessary.

Sneakiness and subterfuge will win every time:

"Mom, Dad, I've come to the realization that the only way I can really focus and concentrate on my studying is if it's either very quiet, or if I have death metal cranked up to 11 on the stereo. I've been trying the 'quiet' route, but it really doesn't seem to get quiet enough around here. I'm thinking that the death metal thing may be the way to go, though, because there's this hot goth chick in my class who tells everyone to call her 'Skank' and she's really into guys who crank death metal. She has a chrome stud through her tongue and she says that she wants to show me all the cool things she can do with it. If I had a Harley, I know she'd be mine..."

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2003 5:16 pm 
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dude could you get me that girl phone number? Id love to know what she can do with her tounge ring :D

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2003 12:54 am 
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And give up on Natalie Portman?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2003 6:47 am 
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who said anything about giving up on natalie portman?, but seriously. I found a girl and i happy with just her, awww, isnt that sweet.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2003 6:47 am 
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1398342003 wrote:
And give up on Natalie Portman?


Or your shiny new girlfriend?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Dec 25, 2003 6:53 am 
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Great timing, Ralf and GG... :lol:

Jan

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 9:32 am 
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Which brings up another subject, how do you silence a Harley?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 10:18 am 
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You want to make your parents speechless? Tell them that you are going to start paying your own tuition! Okay, maybe I'm assuming something wrongly, but am on the other side of this situation right now, hee-hee.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 11:47 am 
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aristide1 wrote:
Which brings up another subject, how do you silence a Harley?


Weld a length of chain on it and use it as a boat anchor.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 11:58 am 
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damn ralf, not a fan of the harleys?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 12:06 pm 
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GamingGod wrote:
damn ralf, not a fan of the harleys?


Nope. I've ridden and raced Rice Rockets for the past 25+ years so I have a soft spot for them.

I'm a road racer at heart and if a bike can't lean over at least 45° without dragging some part of it on the ground, I'm not interested in it.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 2:32 pm 
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I've seen a few car races, but never bike races.

Y'know how the front of the car flies up when they start? Do bikes have that problem?

I can't figure how the car racers know where to drive, I'm always sure to be way over to the side!

Sometimes the front doesn't come down for a good bit heh I've heard of a car flipping that way too. You racing people are nuts.

Back when I just got my first car, my best friend actually wrecked my car trying to speed along a backroad. Heh, I was in the passenger side, mad as fire - $3000 of damage!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2004 11:46 pm 
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aristide1 wrote:
Which brings up another subject, how do you silence a Harley?


Buy a different bike.

Harleys of old had a timing defect that gave them their distinctive sound. Nowadays they put that defect in intentionally to make sure that the sound is the same. If they balanced the engine "correctly" the sound would be much abated, but then it "wouldn't be a Harley."

I've always been amused by the guys who say "chicks dig a guy with a Harley." OK, buddy, you have her straddle a 1200cc bike, lean forward, then start up that vibrator. And you think the GUY has anything to do with it? :roll:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 12:23 pm 
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I'd use a small quantity of GHB, you know the date rape drug, then once out, clean the top and bottom areas of the lips with alcohol, the same kind you use on a heatsink, then using a needle and some fishing line, you can use pink or other hot colours if you prefer, and so them mouths up leaving a wee lil hole for a stray so they can suck down malts and protein drinks.

Hope that helps

cheers


:}


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2004 3:29 pm 
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your one sick sucker

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2004 4:02 am 
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Taping a whole roll of industrial quality duct tape around the heads could be quite sufficient for a short time... :lol:

Jan

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2004 4:36 pm 
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Quote:
damn ralf, not a fan of the harleys?


Well I have yet to have a single one tell me why I can't watch TV in my own home without being disrupted. Tell them to be quiet, and they scream you are trampling on their rights, but it's totally OK for them to trample on my rights.

In general they may be nice people but when it comes to quiet respect the typical harley rider is nothing but a hemorrhoid

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2004 9:24 pm 
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Have y'all noticed how loud cars driving by are? and neighbors too! Zalman headphones, how well do they work?

I've been in the process of moving into a friend's apartment, but the neighborhood is too dang loud. It looks like I'm going to be studying in the library again this year, which is fine. The big thing is I'll have to start buying my food again :shock: . Heh, I've been living in my parents' house for the last few months 8) .


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:27 am 
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I'd keep my parents in a pool of blood... Not too long of course, otherwise I'd make my own food.

I guess they'll shut up then - for a moment.

And the blood? Where I'd get it? My French *Fraumensch*/teacher I think.


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 Post subject: Re: silencing humans
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:11 pm 
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mpteach wrote:
Im an engineerng student, i know how to silence my pc. When its quiet all i will hear is my parents and i dont know how to silence them. Any suggestions?
Try inserting an 80mm Nexus fan into their mouths.
Note. You may need to use a 92mm on your mother as since women speak a lot more than men her jaw may be more flexible.


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 Post subject: Re: silencing humans
PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 10:03 pm 
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mpteach wrote:
Im an engineerng student, i know how to silence my pc. When its quiet all i will hear is my parents and i dont know how to silence them.

Any suggestions?


One thing that works (without question) on people- alternate terminal electronic acceptors.

Just fill a room with whatever you choose to use, and the all the people in it will get very quiet.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 1:44 am 
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Well, you know, water to humans is like volts to a fan, so all you need to do is cut their water supply down to just the right amount, and then eventually, they'll get really really silent.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 6:37 pm 
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aristide1 wrote:
Which brings up another subject, how do you silence a Harley?


RPG-7. It'll be loud for a couple of seconds, but you'll never hear it again. Make sure the rider is on it when you blow it up to high heavens.

God damn, I hate Harleys and the vast majority of people who ride them. As if they're not insecure enough, they have to ride the noisiest brand of bikes on the planet and act like utter assholes.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:33 am 
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In my eyes: YugenM wrote:
God damn, I hate Volvos and the vast majority of people who drive them. As if they're not insecure enough, they have to drive the ugliest brand of car on the planet and act like utter assholes.


:D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 1:13 am 
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YugenM wrote:
RPG-7. It'll be loud for a couple of seconds, but you'll never hear it again. Make sure the rider is on it when you blow it up to high heavens.

God damn, I hate Harleys and the vast majority of people who ride them. As if they're not insecure enough, they have to ride the noisiest brand of bikes on the planet and act like utter assholes.

I've passed on your observations to my good friend "Slug." Once the PCP has worn off and he's calmed down enough to be let on the plane, he'll be coming to Vancouver to pay his respects.

/edit: actually, most of the time he's a 42-yr-old investment banker called Andrew...


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