Heya guys,


Well I'm halfway through setting up my 2nd (hopefully silent) rig after changing the heatsink, powersupply, modding the case a little etc. and i felt i could do with a break and a cold one

While i was modding i started getting all these wierd silent computing jokes popping up in my head for no apparant reason.. so i thought i should make up a list and post them here. (where else on the web could people relate to them?)

Enjoy, and if you like them add some more of your own!



TOP 10 SIGNS YOU TAKE SILENT COMPUTING TOO SERIOUSLY

10. You have offically labeled yourself a General in the War Against Heat. You refer to your main workstation as "The Forward Command Post".

9. When dropping hints about what family members should buy for your birthday, you need to keep reminding yourself that others find it rude when you immediately rip apart and modify their gifts.

8. You find yourself looking down and seeing your Dremel in your hand and you don't know how it got there. But you feel so insecure without it you always smile when this happens.

7. 25 years from now you start your own cult which worships a giant all-copper heatsink moulded into the shape of (surprisingly enough)... a heatsink. You claim it has mystical powers and conduct ritual sacrifices in it's presence which involve waving lots of small plastic fans around and making bizarre clicking noises with your tongue.

6. Watching the news you see a story about a 10 year old boy from Bangladesh who needs radical open-heart surgery to live but his parents can't afford it. As the news-reader mentions that "..some brave surgeon is needed to save this boy's life" you look over at your Dremel and the new carving attachment and think "hmm.."

5. You have noticed a disturbing trend: The longer you own a computer case and the more you mod it, the less metal is left. You imagine 10 years down the track being left with several rubix-cube sized objects, and being worried than miniaturization in fan-design isn't advancing fast enough to keep up.

4. After months of effort your computer has become so silent that the the loudest thing you can hear after turning it on is your own breathing. The sound starts grating on you after awhile and you begin reading medical journals with the hope of building some kind of lung-filter, and maybe even increasing the airflow in the process.

3. You own so many Zalman products you wish they could just send you one of each new version and bill you. You also wish they would stop sending copies of their inter-office memos by mistake. Maybe it's because you've bought so much of their damn stuff you're now a major stakeholder.

2. You find you have developed an allergic-like reaction to stock components of any kind. Even if you have to remove and replace them with something that looks the same, sounds the same, and performs the same you still do it because it makes you feel better.

1. When having sex with your spouse you try to guess the dBA level of your companion and imagine how many 80mm Panaflows it would take to equal it!

Great post =), I especially enjoyed 5 to 1. 6 is Scary .

funnny funny stuff!

Great idea AussieFellah...here's mine...

11. When there's enough sound dampening matierial in your case to build a bomb shelter.

thanks


Here are a few more i thought up:


11. It no longer bothers you that you spend more time worried about your computer's health than your own. As soon as you've done a few hundred more loops of 3D Mark and your Northbridge temp has stabilized, then you'll have a chance to get those lumps on your testicles checked out.

12. You begin stripping parts from your car to use in your new watercooling system. This strikes you as completely logical, and since the body is mainly aluminium you're pretty sure you can run it passively anyway.

13. After years of listening to the almost inaudible resonance from thousands of tiny, plastic computer fans you have become obsessed by them. You begin to believe that they have their own secret language and regularly hold conferences with one another, but only when the side door of your case is closed. You conclude they must be plotting with the power-supply to electrocute you, so they can throw off the oppression of lower voltages and join their screaming brothers.

11. You have to wear earmuffs to use your main computer. Not because of the sound but because the ambient temperature in your house is low enough to frost your heatsinks.

That should be made a sticky. With a note saying that all new comers to the forum must read it first before posting!

I would add:

14. You have made a radical change in lifestyle. Wearing a poorly fitted black suit, white shirt, and skinny black tie you ride around the neighborhood on a bike knocking at peoples doors at 8 am Saturday morning passing out tracts on the "Virtues of Panaflo". Your friends don't talk to you anymore since everything you say is followed by: "thanks be to Panaflo! Amen!" or "You too can be saved by Panaflo's grace!"

Roflmao!

Oh that's good, really good, lmao.

Just what refreshing beverage are you enjoying

I want some of it.

LOL...Just imagine....

Allrady stating that.....look at the thread "worship zalman" in the off topic.
my reserator is going to be a totem pole

Tsk - all those necessary phallic symbols of sexual insecurity everywhere.

I'm sure Zalman have a little student of ye olde Freu in the design department .

(to be taken very seriously, obviously... )

16. When you buy a Samsung refrigerator for your new house in the hope that it will be as quiet as your Samsung hard drive

I know what you mean. I was thinking about getting a samsung air conditioner and even looked at some panasonic models, but it the end i went with a good old whirlpool. Hopefully it doesnt sound like a real whirlpool

Keep them coming

My addition.

17. You have two candidates for your national hymn.

1 - Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound Of Silence
2 - .... (none ).

shathal, Your scaring me now....




My GF thinks I 'suffer' from the heat too.


You take silent comp....

When you try to convince your friend it's not necassary to upgrade his PII 300... Just cause you admire it's quietness,...
and start to 'admire' with desire the Duron 650Mhz that you saw for sale in the local paper...


*Disappears off to find his PII 200MMX*

I did end up getting a Panasonic bathroom fan because I found the models sold at Home Depot to be too noisy. Still, I would think it can do better with only 110 cfm airflow. Maybe if I mod the intake grills...

Either you're scared real easy, or I don't get how/why.

What'd I do?

*looks innocent*

Shanthal
You forgot John Cage's 4' 33", another far worthy contender for the national hymn

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

You Guys need help. We have all been thru the scene, upside down pc, tons of fan setups, carpet foam, black tape scissors, wire and lots of sweat n blood, I got blood in my case more that twice. Poor non-Dremmel owners know the pain of using tin snips or kleins to cut out crude grills and leave sharp edges not caring for anyone elses welfare, cos of the sharp edges, just wanting clear flow.

Who care about dryer sheets too until you can use one for a filter on your pc.

You wife/gf is amused/irritated cos you finally stop surfing or gaming for 6 months to disembowel your system and make it silent. If your lucky like me, she does not know the total price you spent doing so!

You talk to co-workers about your qwest and they look at you like your reading a quote out of a Isaac Asimov book or a line out of the Matrix or Fight Club.

You get so used to silence that you want to flatten the tires of local thugs playing music so loud in their cars as they crusie your area!!!

One of my fav books all time was one where on a certain day of the week no sounds could be heard anywhere on the planet!

The Sons of Silence becomes your fav biker gang.

You keep thinkging Serious Sam is the game Silent Sam.

You have dream Ted Nugent is the anti-christ and forces all in the world to listen to his music at full volume.

You start looking at the fridge to silence it maybe?

Your hearing has gotten better in the last year or so!

If you had to sacrifice 2 senses they'd be hearing and smell, (for me).

You think perhaps a national/global change is underway to drive all new pc owners to insanity with noise.

Your sick of upgrading to play the latest Shooter pc game.

You buy a GBA SP and think it phreckin rocks cos it is silent! I did!!!

Lastly you have a dream you fed date rape drug to your wife's Mum and then sewed her mouth shut with that glow in the dark 20 lb fish line.

Have a nice day!

She speaks. Startled, I look up at her and yell "SHUT UP!" within the crisp silence of my mind. She babbles on, oblivious to my unvoiced protest. Perhaps she mistakes my jumpiness for excitement. Her breath rushes through her perfect white teeth, landing hotly on my face. I find myself thinking that she should open her mouth wider. The opening is much too small. Staring at her teeth, I reflexively grope for my dremel. No. She would not like that. I try to focus on something else.

She is explaining about our future. Apparently it includes a number of boisterous kids and a modern kitchen filled with electrical gadgets. Her skin looks slightly flushed. Definately running hot. I pull away slightly, trying to position myself away from the hot exhaust. In that state her thermal output must be twice as high as mine. I can feel her heart fluttering against her taut skin, sending vibrations down my arm. I will have to try rigging a swing in the bedroom. That should dampen her runaway energy a little bit. I wonder if she would object to a gag.

She gives me a wry look and flashes that special playful smile that first attracted me to her. That was before I started hearing the faint wet sound her lips made pulling back from her teeth. Inexplicably, my heart skips and starts to speed up. All of a sudden, my head is spinning. I hate it when that happens. I carefully rearrange my limbs, trying to catch more of the faint cool breeze drifting in through the open window. Not enough airflow, I think morosely. I close my eyes and concentrate, fighting to bring my metabolism back under control. Finally, the thumping subsides and I fall into sleep mode.

I will have to do something about my girlfriend. I don't think I can stand the noise much longer. Perhaps I will swap her for one of those petite oriental beauties. They look like they have a low energy footprint.

Valium.

Something for the hyperactive...

inexplicable - that was absolutely brilliant

it's too much when - you sell your speakers cos they're masking how quiet your pc is.

You hold heatsinks on your forehead on hot days.

You keep your cd drive in another room, cos it's too loud.

You turn the brightness on your monitor all the way down, to get rid of that hum...

There's more grease on your bicycle than there is bicycle.

you buy a graphics tablet, to avoid keyboard noise.

griff

You try to undervolt the clocks in your house in order to get rid of the "clicking".

ROLF! What a funny tread...

...but this...



Is not funny anymore. Im ready to worship giant copper heatsink now




This doesnot do the trick. Move to digital does
Been there, done that

Oh howd I forget, you want to buy a digital scale cos the std hospital scale makes a whiny noise when weighing yourself.

I agree, but my version sounds funnier, don't you think?

Definitively agreed from whole my heart